Sleep hygeine

I remember being on the London Underground and finding myself surrounded by gorgeous, fresh-faced girls. They looked so… healthy! Then I noticed the school blazers and figured I shouldn’t be checking out 16 year olds. Naughty boy.

Then I thought of all the uni students, even freshers, who look like shit. There’s lots of factors at play – diet, drinking, drugs, all those sports you’re suddenly not playing since you left high school.

We’re not all doing all of these things all the time. Except not sleeping properly.

I might be a miserable old bastard contrarian in these matters, but the only reason to stay up late is to have sex with your girlfriend. Who you’re not gonna meet in that dingy club selling £1 Skittlebombs or whatever it is your children drink.

Just, go to bed before 1 okay? 12 if you’re hardcore. You’ll be happier, healthier (all that booze and kebabs you’re not scoffing) have more money, have better sex, and have nice fresh skin like those Year 11s you shouldn’t be checking out.

Sweet dreams.


Author: Stuart Hughes

Twenty-something from the hills and vales of Wales, grappling with the logistics of becoming a little more cosmopolitan.